Numbness that we so often feel is our way of coping. It’s our last defense against the lies.
From the moment we leave our mothers womb the odds are against us. The brokeness of this world is what we have inevitably entered into. The battle has begun.
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Eph. 6:12
Satan, in Hebrew, is translated “the Accuser”. He is the Father of all Lies. Numbing the lies we’ve heard all our lives may defend us from feeling the pain of our own brokeness and our Enemies persistent hatred, but at the same time, we can often begin to numb out God’s tender voice.
I believe that there is a balance.
We have to feel. It’s necessary. It’s how we were created. One wise counselor once told me that emotions are like the water system in a house. We so often try to turn-off or “numb” unwanted emotions. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Turning off one uncomfortable feeling is really turning off the pipe to the whole house. All emotions are intertwined (i.e. to experience full joy one must experience full sorrow and so forth).
I’ve been learning the same works with God’s voice. I hear all these lies in my head about who I am, what I do, how I act, who I should be, my unworthiness, my shame, ect. I then get very uncomfortable and it hurts. I try to turn it all off. Yet, God is speaking amidst the pain. I just don’t want to feel the pain. Satan’s lies are overwhelming. Still, He promises, I am with you in this, I will heal you through this, I have redeemed all this, I love you in this. Training ourselves to hear the voice of our Jesus means that we have to confront our own pain. We have to address the lies. And we have to address the Power and Authority we have over the one who accuses.
This is a brave thing. This is a courageous thing.
The Truth is there patiently waiting and pursuing our hearts. When we let it take hold, nothing will hold it back. That water system in the house is nothing compared to God’s love, the living water. The heart that experiences this everlasting love proclaims in victory-
"Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me." Ps. 42:7
O Lord, let the floodgates open.